sloptells / “here's what actually happened”

active · construct · first recorded 2026-07-02 · registers: linkedin

The reveal-promising colon: “Here's what surprised me most:”, “Here's what nobody tells you:”. Setup theater before ordinary content.

examples

…But here's what surprised me most: the first year wasn't about landing the perfect client…

evidence

occurrences per 10k words, measured 2026-07 (run #2: 3 current + 3 vintage models, 3 matched registers, 1,392 samples)

current AIvintage AI (2024/25)humans (matched)canon (great pre-AI prose)
pooled1.811.900.110.06
hn0.180.00
cooking1.420.00
parenting1.920.34
linkedin10.87

detector

regex: \bhere'?s (what|why|the thing)\b

sources

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